Grieving Through the Holidays: Tips

1. Coping with Grief is Key

   Grief through the holidays can be difficult to handle, but not impossible. It’s important to realize that grief is not necessarily something you overcome, but something you learn to embrace. It seems the holidays trigger the pain from loss. We yearn for our loved ones to be with us there sharing the moment like they used to. Memories flood our minds of holidays past. Coping with grief during the holidays is key.

2.  It’s important to remember, you are not alone.

   Millions are facing this same struggle with you. Everyone grieves differently. It is okay to grieve in your own unique way. In a post previously I discuss the 5 stages of grief. You very well could be going through these stages during the holidays. It’s important to have a strong support group around you during this time. Surround yourself with loved ones.

3.  Don’t pace the length of your grief stages on someone else.

   Don’t be hard on yourself if you are struggling more than someone else. Also, don’t be hard on others if they don’t seem to be struggling as much as you. Everyone will face their grief differently and that’s okay. What’s important is to know that whatever variables we have in this world, God is constant. Seek comfort in that. When you feel overwhelmed, step away, say a quick prayer. Maybe call a friend to pray with you.

4. Remember there is always hope.

   The pain from loss can feel overwhelming at times, but it gets easier to live with. There is always hope. Jesus is near the broken-hearted. He is the great comforter. If there are things that may trigger your pain that can be prevented before celebrating the holidays maybe mention that to your loved ones.

5. Plan ahead.

   Try planning ahead. If a certain tradition makes it feel unbearable to you, maybe ask them if you can do something different this year. Or, maybe you want to continue the tradition in their memory because it created such special memories for you. It’s also a good idea to get a heads up on the festivities. You know your limits, don’t feel the need to overexert yourself. Your well-being is very important.

6. Share what’s on your mind.

   It helps to talk about things. Share what’s on your mind. Others are likely facing similar struggles. Almost everyone has lost someone or will in their lives. Sharing how you are getting through it or simply sharing your feelings not only helps you get it off your chest, but could encourage someone else to do the same.

7.  Honor your loved one’s memory by continuing to live.
   Remember that you aren’t doing your loved ones’ memory a disservice by continuing to live your life. Think of your loved ones. If something were to happen to you, would you want them to change their lives, spending it depressed, and never moving on? Or, would you want them to find closure, remember the happy times together, and embrace life to the fullest in their memory?
8. Remember intense pain is temporary.
   I feel most would want our loved ones, no matter how hard it may be, to eventually find happiness again. For them to smile and laugh cherishing the memories we held. Unfortunately, death is a part of life while we are here on Earth. But, one day we will enter Heaven with our Savior where there will be no death, pain, or tears. Remember intense pain is temporary. You will get through this.
9. Consider creating new traditions.
   Try to create new traditions and don’t forget about your loved ones that are still here. Work to not let your grief overwhelm you so much that you forget to appreciate others around you. All of our days are numbered here. Truly appreciate those around you and enjoy life with them while you are all here. 
10. Set realistic expectations.
    Grieving takes time. There is no set time window for how long it will take you to get through it. Don’t put a time restraint on your healing. Healing doesn’t happen overnight. Try not to compare your journey with grief to others. Everyone has a different way of coping and handling their emotions. Others may not express or show their emotions in the same way you do, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t hurting too. Try not to pace your grief walk with theirs.
11. Allow yourself to feel and heal.

Take your time and allow yourself to feel and heal. Allowing all the emotions that come along with grieving without being too self critical. Give yourself some slack and immerse yourself in God and His word. He is the one you can always rely on. In times when life feels so uncertain and you don’t know which way to turn, always turn to Him. When you get in the habit of always turning to Him you won’t be let down because He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever. He will pull you through this one day at a time.

Remember: It’s okay to not be okay. But, it’s just not okay to stay there.